Well, that was bunches of fun. Lost power for nine hours and just got it back at 5:20 a.m. Scared the cat when it went back on, because I had forgotten that the TV was on and it suddenly turned on when the power came back.

According to the PG, 130,000 were without power thanks to the Ike remnants. Now I get to grab a bus to go to my 8 a.m. appointment in Oakland. Fun!

Dear Furball:

I know that as the house cat, you consider it your duty to help while I am cooking. Let's go over, again, what helping isn't. Helping is not swarming in the Human's legs as she is ladleing boiling hot jam, thus causing her to spill boiling hot jam all over her left thumb. This will result in the Human swearing both at the jam and you. It will not get you dinner any sooner.

No love,
The Human

Dear Abby:

Refraining from batting at the drawstrings on the human's trousers when she is inverted would be much appreciated.

Thanks,
The Human

Dear Abby,

My hair is not food. When you pull and bite on my hair, that will usually result in the furball -- that's you -- getting bumped off the back of the couch by the sudden motion of my head.

Please make a note of this.

The Human Can Opener

I Don't Like Mondays

So, after the lovely experiences of the afternoon, I was very eager to get to my car -- after stayiing somewhat late to make up for taking time during the day for said appointment -- and go home.

I pull out of the parking lot, and notice that the car's handling kind of funny. I don't think anything of it, and just figure that it's some sort of alignment issue that can surely wait until the weekend to fix.

Except then I pull onto PA 885 and notice that I have no control of the car.

So I pull back off PA 885 and park outside UPMC Mercy.

Dead front tire. A snow tire. Easily a $125 tire to replace.

And I can't pull the damn lugnuts off so I can change the damn tire. So I call AAA.

"Your account is suspended."

What? Apparently, when I sent in my renewal information, the New York club neglected to forward that information to the Pennsylvania club, and my account was suspended. So I pay $47.50 to reinstate my membership. And get someone out to change the dead tire.

The guy comes and changes my tire. Says I'm his third one of the night.

Turns out I ran over a screw, and the tire's not completely dead. A patch kit will fix it, he says, and I should be able to get someone to do it cheaply. More importantly, I don't need a new tire.

And then I come home and discover that I have another bill for Verizon. For services they're not providing.

This bill says it is a final bill, and that it will be forwarded to a collection agency if not paid in full. But then states that they actually owe me $77.75, and I will have a check in five days.

I guess that's my bright side for today. And Abby didn't destroy the apartment, so that's also OK. And I have a beer, so that's OK, too.

Dear Abby:

Let's have this conversation again, since the furbrain tends to forget.

You have to wear Soft Paws because sometimes it's hard for you to remember that good kitties don't scratch on the couch or the carpeting. You have to have your nails clipped before the Soft Paws go on, so that Mommy doesn't have to do this as often.

This process also involves clipping your back nails, since you refuse to let Mommy touch your back feet to put Soft Claws on back there. If you thrash around, it will take longer. Likewise, it will also increase the risk of what happened tonight, when a kitty moves at the same time Mommy is clipping, and your quick gets cut.

Love,

The Human. Who may not have sharp claws, but has weight and height on you.

Dear Abby:

The nice, warm cocoa that Mommy has on the floor next to the big chair is not yours. It is not yours for two reasons:

1) It's much too hot for little kitties to drink.

2) You do not get to drink the cocoa that gets imported from England. It's mine!

Love,

Mom