Dear Furball:

I know that as the house cat, you consider it your duty to help while I am cooking. Let's go over, again, what helping isn't. Helping is not swarming in the Human's legs as she is ladleing boiling hot jam, thus causing her to spill boiling hot jam all over her left thumb. This will result in the Human swearing both at the jam and you. It will not get you dinner any sooner.

No love,
The Human